How about a "Hall of Fame" for worthy posts/threads. To start things off - I nominate this thread for consideration because after nearly 3 years I still laugh so hard it hurts each time I read it!
Still Learning, St. Marks, 7/5/04, long, **UPDATED**
Moderators: bman, Chalk, Tom Keels
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Harold Ray
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Hello from Texas! I had to post to tell you this fish tale is now making the rounds in Texas, and I'm sure it will be nationwide and worldwide soon if it hasn't already been there. I have been laughing for the last 15 minutes, as has my friend and fellow veterinarian. dbplug, you, your concussion, broken fingers and battered testicles have brightened our day. No wonder the doctor wanted you to come back in to spread the humor!
Ray
Ray
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Capt Reggie
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Fish Story?
Can I put that in a chapter of my next book, dbplug? 
mjsigns is right...do like we do - carry a pistol (one careful shot through the gills & bye-bye, cobia)! 
Sorry about the 911, but you will never do that again, eh. 
I learned the hard way with broken poles (not fingers) many years ago when I put a "green" 40 pounder on the deck of my open fisherman - ouch. 
mjsigns is right...do like we do - carry a pistol (one careful shot through the gills & bye-bye, cobia)! Sorry about the 911, but you will never do that again, eh. I learned the hard way with broken poles (not fingers) many years ago when I put a "green" 40 pounder on the deck of my open fisherman - ouch. My hobby is Smart Outdoors, LLC.
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Fish Masterson
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Re: Still Learning, St. Marks, 7/5/04, long, **UPDATED**
Where did this original post go? This was one of the funniest fishing stories that I ever read, and I was telling a friend about it the other day. I told him that I would print it out and let him read it, but apparently, it has been deleted. I know that most of you long time members remember this post about his battle with a cobia, that got away. If anyone has the original post, i would really appreciate a copy, or a repost.
Thanks, Fish Masterson
Thanks, Fish Masterson
The Liver is EVIL and Must be Punished
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Tidedancer
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Re: Still Learning, St. Marks, 7/5/04, long, **UPDATED**
Yep. I missed it too.
Re: Still Learning, St. Marks, 7/5/04, long, **UPDATED**
I don't know if it was deleted by accident or what... and if it is not supposed to be on here, feel free to delete this post... but a quick google search of the original poster's name turned up this post:
"After cleaning up from the 4th of July block party Monday morning, one of my neighbors and I twisted each others arms for about 5 seconds and headed to the LH for a short fishing trip. I should know better but I had a half a tank of gas leftover from St. Joe Bay, “cuz you know gas won’t keep”. Works for me.
Got in about 4’ of grass and caught some pins. Headed out to spotty bottom in 6-7’. Set a very slow drift with surecatches and a live pin on 60 yds of 25lb test off the back. Caught 2 shorts pretty quickly. 20 minutes later something big starts bothering the pin, float is jumping around, no pull on the line.
Let me stop here and tell you that my fishing buddy this day is more experienced than I am. He has caught many fish in many different parts of both North and Central America. He has caught just about every fish that is native to our parts. He is a local and goes fishing frequently. Trustworthy, smart, knowlegable, heart of gold, and good company. He lurks here from time to time so I will protect his identity.
Well, float goes under, still no pull on the line. Must be a shark or Cobia. I am tempted to set the hook, but I wait. Float comes back up. No movement. I figure it is gone, count to sixty, pull in the slack, give the rod a short twitch and zoom. Thing runs from 12:00 to 2:30 in a NY minute. If this is a cobia, he is playing with me. Keep telling myself not to set the hook, I have been here before. I get encouragement from my neighbor. Float pops up for about 20 seconds, goes under again. Oh man this thing is playing with me! Line goes completely slack, no float. Break off? Did I tie it right? Have I got the right hook? The right leader? Start reeling the slack line in, get about 30 yards in and the float pops up, ala Jaws.
Tell myself it is gone when the line goes tight then slack then tight and finally goes slack again. Float pops up from 3:00 and goes fast across the bow to 7:30 on the other side, screams out about 100 yds and stays tight. I am about in a cold sweat, I am 20 minutes into this. Look to my buddy, he is all smiles. Tell him its now or never. He says go for it, what have you got to lose? I give the tight rod a quick drop and tighten to set the hook. I am prepared to feel nothing on the other end. Yank the rod up, had to have set it, had to have. Sure enough, one angry fish. Hook appears to be set. Screaming drag, running left, right, close, far. Shoot, I should have peed before we left. .Question knot tying and leader material again. Question my bladder control. Arms already tired but adrenaline is rushing. Buddy says its set, hope he is right.
Another 15 minutes of the previously described antics and it finally gets close to the boat. It’s a Cobia. Not sure how big, but bigger than 33”. I think he kinda rolled sideways for a glance as if to say, “not today my friend”. Takes off about 50 yards and we play some more. I mention to my buddy about my leader and hook worries. Explain to him how I tied it. He says don’t worry. I get the fish back to the boat pretty quick this time. It takes off again. Get it back to the boat again. We agree that the fish is tiring, but do not agree to the extent of its tiredness. Takes off again during this discussion. Buddy grabs the gaff and says it is getting late. Says he thought he heard thunder. Asks how my bladder is holding up. I call him a smartass.
I get him to the boat again, buddy says he is ready to gaff him. I say he is green. Buddy says not that green. I say five minutes, buddy says ok, but he thinks he is ready. Five minutes pass, get the cobia alongside the boat, he is about 40”. Still thrashing some. I ask buddy if he is ready. Buddy says yes. I say ”I want to give him 5 more minutes”. Just as I say the word “more” he is gaffed and in the boat at my feet. Perfect. Lands right between the console and the gunwale. I did not have time to enjoy the moment. This thing was beyond green. The maddest fish I ever saw. And so begins “Dumb and Dumber III”.
I hope you get a good mental picture what follows. It all happens in a flash. It is really noisy, like girl scouts screaming in reaction to boys or cooties or cockroaches. I drop the rod behind me and throw myself on the fish. The line comes off the hook. I put my hand over its exposed gill plate to hold it down. I have my torso in parallel to the length of its body. I am on top of the fish. (Reminds me of my teenage years.) The fish is 40” easy, I am 66”. Well I could not get my feet or knees on this things tail. In between about number 100 and 120 of the hard tail smacks to the nuticles; I holler to my buddy to get the little Louisville slugger in the forward hold. My gut is killing me. Didn’t do my bladder much good either. I am wet. I am slimy, I am sweaty, smelly, gilly and somehow happy. Man are the boys killing me. This fish is still going nuts(literally).
My buddy says “I have it, watch out”. I have complete confidence in my partner. He is an experienced fisherman. He moves in for the stunning blow. WHAM! Perfect delivery. I now have two broken fingers on my right hand, never really felt it, my groin hurt worse, the moment and all. Buddy says, “oh man, sorry!”. I say “its allright, f it, hit him, quick!”. Buddy reels back again, not so hard this time. WHAM! Bingo this time he manages the perfect shot to the back of the head. My head. Felt that one. Thought it was lightning. Things go black then I see stars for a moment. Faintly hear my buddy say “oh, man! Sorry!”. I say “ Hit the Fish this time!” He does, three quick and successfully harder raps to the head of the cobia. Cobia is still. I roll off. Turn myself over and slowly get to my hands and knees. Despite the groin, the fingers, and back of the head I look to the left at the fish and smile, just beautiful. I crawl to the platform at the front of the boat. I can’t look at my buddy. I feel like puking. I sit down. My buddy is still apologizing. I giggle. Must be the blow to the head. He drops the bat, but not near me. I begin to look for the bimini cover and vests and heavy stuff to cover this fish with. Neighbor probably envisions tomorrows headlines “Man Deliberately Thrown Overboard by Neighbor”.
Believe EVERYTHING people tell you about Cobia. If you catch a cobia and are going to KEEP IT, take this advice first and foremost. When you get it in the boat – cover it with a blanket and beat the ever living snot out of it. When you think you have beat it enough – beat it again. This fish revived and started thrashing again, up, once midway up against the console and out of the boat. My buddy was in shock. I was too dazed to respond immediately. I leaned over to the edge of the boat along with my partner and looked down in the water. That Cobia was three feet from the side of the boat. Again, he rolled sideways a little as if to say ”Not today my friend…” and slowly swam away.
Doctor says I will be fine. He thinks I ain’t right, but thinks I will be fine. Had to stay up all last night, concussion and stuff. And I will be back with a blanket, an aluminum bat, a sap, some brass knuckles, a Sumo wrestler, etc. I have to get some sleep."
"After cleaning up from the 4th of July block party Monday morning, one of my neighbors and I twisted each others arms for about 5 seconds and headed to the LH for a short fishing trip. I should know better but I had a half a tank of gas leftover from St. Joe Bay, “cuz you know gas won’t keep”. Works for me.
Got in about 4’ of grass and caught some pins. Headed out to spotty bottom in 6-7’. Set a very slow drift with surecatches and a live pin on 60 yds of 25lb test off the back. Caught 2 shorts pretty quickly. 20 minutes later something big starts bothering the pin, float is jumping around, no pull on the line.
Let me stop here and tell you that my fishing buddy this day is more experienced than I am. He has caught many fish in many different parts of both North and Central America. He has caught just about every fish that is native to our parts. He is a local and goes fishing frequently. Trustworthy, smart, knowlegable, heart of gold, and good company. He lurks here from time to time so I will protect his identity.
Well, float goes under, still no pull on the line. Must be a shark or Cobia. I am tempted to set the hook, but I wait. Float comes back up. No movement. I figure it is gone, count to sixty, pull in the slack, give the rod a short twitch and zoom. Thing runs from 12:00 to 2:30 in a NY minute. If this is a cobia, he is playing with me. Keep telling myself not to set the hook, I have been here before. I get encouragement from my neighbor. Float pops up for about 20 seconds, goes under again. Oh man this thing is playing with me! Line goes completely slack, no float. Break off? Did I tie it right? Have I got the right hook? The right leader? Start reeling the slack line in, get about 30 yards in and the float pops up, ala Jaws.
Tell myself it is gone when the line goes tight then slack then tight and finally goes slack again. Float pops up from 3:00 and goes fast across the bow to 7:30 on the other side, screams out about 100 yds and stays tight. I am about in a cold sweat, I am 20 minutes into this. Look to my buddy, he is all smiles. Tell him its now or never. He says go for it, what have you got to lose? I give the tight rod a quick drop and tighten to set the hook. I am prepared to feel nothing on the other end. Yank the rod up, had to have set it, had to have. Sure enough, one angry fish. Hook appears to be set. Screaming drag, running left, right, close, far. Shoot, I should have peed before we left. .Question knot tying and leader material again. Question my bladder control. Arms already tired but adrenaline is rushing. Buddy says its set, hope he is right.
Another 15 minutes of the previously described antics and it finally gets close to the boat. It’s a Cobia. Not sure how big, but bigger than 33”. I think he kinda rolled sideways for a glance as if to say, “not today my friend”. Takes off about 50 yards and we play some more. I mention to my buddy about my leader and hook worries. Explain to him how I tied it. He says don’t worry. I get the fish back to the boat pretty quick this time. It takes off again. Get it back to the boat again. We agree that the fish is tiring, but do not agree to the extent of its tiredness. Takes off again during this discussion. Buddy grabs the gaff and says it is getting late. Says he thought he heard thunder. Asks how my bladder is holding up. I call him a smartass.
I get him to the boat again, buddy says he is ready to gaff him. I say he is green. Buddy says not that green. I say five minutes, buddy says ok, but he thinks he is ready. Five minutes pass, get the cobia alongside the boat, he is about 40”. Still thrashing some. I ask buddy if he is ready. Buddy says yes. I say ”I want to give him 5 more minutes”. Just as I say the word “more” he is gaffed and in the boat at my feet. Perfect. Lands right between the console and the gunwale. I did not have time to enjoy the moment. This thing was beyond green. The maddest fish I ever saw. And so begins “Dumb and Dumber III”.
I hope you get a good mental picture what follows. It all happens in a flash. It is really noisy, like girl scouts screaming in reaction to boys or cooties or cockroaches. I drop the rod behind me and throw myself on the fish. The line comes off the hook. I put my hand over its exposed gill plate to hold it down. I have my torso in parallel to the length of its body. I am on top of the fish. (Reminds me of my teenage years.) The fish is 40” easy, I am 66”. Well I could not get my feet or knees on this things tail. In between about number 100 and 120 of the hard tail smacks to the nuticles; I holler to my buddy to get the little Louisville slugger in the forward hold. My gut is killing me. Didn’t do my bladder much good either. I am wet. I am slimy, I am sweaty, smelly, gilly and somehow happy. Man are the boys killing me. This fish is still going nuts(literally).
My buddy says “I have it, watch out”. I have complete confidence in my partner. He is an experienced fisherman. He moves in for the stunning blow. WHAM! Perfect delivery. I now have two broken fingers on my right hand, never really felt it, my groin hurt worse, the moment and all. Buddy says, “oh man, sorry!”. I say “its allright, f it, hit him, quick!”. Buddy reels back again, not so hard this time. WHAM! Bingo this time he manages the perfect shot to the back of the head. My head. Felt that one. Thought it was lightning. Things go black then I see stars for a moment. Faintly hear my buddy say “oh, man! Sorry!”. I say “ Hit the Fish this time!” He does, three quick and successfully harder raps to the head of the cobia. Cobia is still. I roll off. Turn myself over and slowly get to my hands and knees. Despite the groin, the fingers, and back of the head I look to the left at the fish and smile, just beautiful. I crawl to the platform at the front of the boat. I can’t look at my buddy. I feel like puking. I sit down. My buddy is still apologizing. I giggle. Must be the blow to the head. He drops the bat, but not near me. I begin to look for the bimini cover and vests and heavy stuff to cover this fish with. Neighbor probably envisions tomorrows headlines “Man Deliberately Thrown Overboard by Neighbor”.
Believe EVERYTHING people tell you about Cobia. If you catch a cobia and are going to KEEP IT, take this advice first and foremost. When you get it in the boat – cover it with a blanket and beat the ever living snot out of it. When you think you have beat it enough – beat it again. This fish revived and started thrashing again, up, once midway up against the console and out of the boat. My buddy was in shock. I was too dazed to respond immediately. I leaned over to the edge of the boat along with my partner and looked down in the water. That Cobia was three feet from the side of the boat. Again, he rolled sideways a little as if to say ”Not today my friend…” and slowly swam away.
Doctor says I will be fine. He thinks I ain’t right, but thinks I will be fine. Had to stay up all last night, concussion and stuff. And I will be back with a blanket, an aluminum bat, a sap, some brass knuckles, a Sumo wrestler, etc. I have to get some sleep."
Re: Still Learning, St. Marks, 7/5/04, long, **UPDATED**
Thanks for the heads up guys. I posted the original back on page one. Enjoy
for petes sake
Re: Still Learning, St. Marks, 7/5/04, long, **UPDATED**
holy crap!!!! I have never laughed this hard at a fishing story before in my life... when is part two coming?!
A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the telephone.
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FUTCHCAIRO
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Re: Still Learning, St. Marks, 7/5/04, long, **UPDATED**
HEY MAN, YA SHOULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT THAT, THAT WAS REALLY FUNNY, REMINDS ME OF THE FIRST COBE I CAUGHT AND WHAT HAPPENED AFTERWARD.
PA THE OLD MAN OF THE SEA
PA THE OLD MAN OF THE SEA
FUTCHCAIRO
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Reel Cowboy
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Re: Still Learning, St. Marks, 7/5/04, long, **UPDATED**
Over 5 years old and still the funniest strot I've ever read.
In the words of the great Doc Holliday, "I'll be your huckleberry"
Re: Still Learning, St. Marks, 7/5/04, long, **UPDATED**
I still have a knot on the back of my head and my knuckles are getting arthritic. DANG, lets go cobia fishing!
for petes sake
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Reel Cowboy
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Re: Still Learning, St. Marks, 7/5/04, long, **UPDATED**
dbplug wrote: DANG, lets go cobia fishing!
Sounds good to me.
But I get to hold the bat.
In the words of the great Doc Holliday, "I'll be your huckleberry"
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lizbeth
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Re: Still Learning, St. Marks, 7/5/04, long, **UPDATED**
I was just thinking of this story last night ! and here it is today. I love this story.
Pirate Girl
Re: Still Learning, St. Marks, 7/5/04, long, **UPDATED**
I missed this story the first time, thanks for bringing back up!
I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard!
I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard!
