C-ya

[jsuber]

Dear wife:

I'm writing this letter to you to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These past two weeks have been hell. I called you at work just to see if you wanted to have lunch (you know, maybe try to reconnect) and your boss told me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new haircut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You came home, ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want to be intimate anymore, or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your Ex-husband.

P.S.: Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving to West Virginia together! Have a great life!


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Dear Ex-husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much to try to drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad it doesn't work.

I did notice when you got a hair cut last week; the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!", but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal ... you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50.00 from me that morning ... and your silk boxers were $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out, so when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for $10,000,000, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica , but when I got home, you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said, with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me ... so ... take care!

Signed... Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S.: I don't know if I ever told you this, but Carla, my sister, was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem

[wevans]

Dear Loving Wife:

HAHAHA, I was just joking with you and Carl "now known as Carla" was in on the joke I love you and hope to work things out with you when I arrive in Jamaica

[Jumptrout51]

Sounds like Wevans has spent one too many nights with Carl.