> performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
>
> Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a
> radio station 103.2 on the FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
> sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
>
> Hi Sue:
>
> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had
> a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
> so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
> not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first
> must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my
> office lies
> ! at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit
> and
> this time of year the water is quite cool! So to keep warm we have a
> diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment
> sucks the water out of the sea and heats it to a delightful temperature.
> It
> then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to
> the
> air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
> several
> times with no complaints. What I do when I get the bottom and start
> working is
> take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my
> whole
> suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
> Everything was going well until all of the sudden, my butt started
> to itch. Of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within
> a few
> seconds my butt started to burn I pulled the hose out from my back, but
> the
> damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water
> machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now,
> since I
> don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
> However,
> the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
> thought was
> an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my
> butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
> communicator.
> His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
> other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted
> the dive.
>
> I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
> totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
> my
> chamber dry. When I arrived at the surface I was wearing nothing but
> my brass helmet.
>
> As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
> running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
> on my
> butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
> couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
>
> So next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
> worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
> Now repeat to yourself, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.
>
