I told my wife and kids that the wise men brought the baby Jesus gifts and not Mary and Joseph. They gave me a nice new dove stool with a rotating seat (after I gave my wife the money and the place to go get it.
), a shirt and some gag gifts. When my wife got to hers and found it similarly sparse, you could have used her lower lip for a diving board. I then pointed out an envelope on the tree that contained universal gift certificates with pictures of dead presidents. She perked up some then. Some folks never grow up. 
