Blond Jokes '-)
Posted: March 6th, 2007, 6:32 pm
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to
death in a drive-in movie? They went to see
"Closed for the Winter."
***************
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of every four children born in
the world was Chinese.
***************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes
were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
*****************
A blonde was driving home after a game and
got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was
covered with dents, so the next day she took it to
a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was
a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail
pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her
hands and knees and started blowing into her
tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little
harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and
said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had
instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order
to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh,
like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
****************
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her
eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed
her to read various letters with the left eye while
covering the right eye.
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye
was which that the eye doctor, in disgust,
took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see
through, covered up the appropriate eye and
asked her to read the letters.
As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears
streaming down her face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to
get emotional about getting glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of
had my heart set on wire frames."
****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and
came across a silver thermos. She was quite
fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought
it over to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "That's ! a thermos . . . it keeps
some things hot and some things cold."
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm
going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos
and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you
have there?" he asked.
"Why, that's a thermos . . it keeps hot things
hot and cold things cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and
some coffee".
***************
Saved the Best for Last!
This has to be one of the best blonde jokes
around. This should make all you
technologically challenged people feel GOOD:
A young man wanted to get his beautiful
blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their
first wedding anniversary. So he decided to
buy her a cell phone. He showed her the
phone and explained to her all of its features.
Susie was excited to receive the gift and
simply adored her new phone.
The next day Susie went shopping. Her
phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was
her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he
sad, "how do you like your new phone?"
Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and
your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one
thing I don't understand though..."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
death in a drive-in movie? They went to see
"Closed for the Winter."
***************
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of every four children born in
the world was Chinese.
***************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes
were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
*****************
A blonde was driving home after a game and
got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was
covered with dents, so the next day she took it to
a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was
a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail
pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her
hands and knees and started blowing into her
tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little
harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and
said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had
instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order
to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh,
like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
****************
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her
eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed
her to read various letters with the left eye while
covering the right eye.
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye
was which that the eye doctor, in disgust,
took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see
through, covered up the appropriate eye and
asked her to read the letters.
As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears
streaming down her face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to
get emotional about getting glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of
had my heart set on wire frames."
****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and
came across a silver thermos. She was quite
fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought
it over to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "That's ! a thermos . . . it keeps
some things hot and some things cold."
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm
going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos
and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you
have there?" he asked.
"Why, that's a thermos . . it keeps hot things
hot and cold things cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and
some coffee".
***************
Saved the Best for Last!
This has to be one of the best blonde jokes
around. This should make all you
technologically challenged people feel GOOD:
A young man wanted to get his beautiful
blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their
first wedding anniversary. So he decided to
buy her a cell phone. He showed her the
phone and explained to her all of its features.
Susie was excited to receive the gift and
simply adored her new phone.
The next day Susie went shopping. Her
phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was
her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he
sad, "how do you like your new phone?"
Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and
your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one
thing I don't understand though..."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
