The Ant and The Grasshopper
Posted: October 29th, 2007, 7:50 pm
Subject: The Ant & The Grasshopper
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out
in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands
to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while
others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide
pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his
comfortable home with a table
filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth,
this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,
and everybody cries when
they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the
ant's house where the news
stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.'
Jesse then has the group
kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an
interview with Larry King
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
grasshopper, and both call for
an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his
fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and
Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant
is fined for failing to
hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having
nothing left to pay his
retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government.
Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit
against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel
of federal judges that
Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent
Welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up
the last bits of the ant's
food while the government house he is in, which just
happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related
incident and the house, now
abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who
terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be very careful how you vote in 2008
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out
in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands
to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while
others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide
pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his
comfortable home with a table
filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth,
this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,
and everybody cries when
they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the
ant's house where the news
stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.'
Jesse then has the group
kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an
interview with Larry King
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
grasshopper, and both call for
an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his
fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and
Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant
is fined for failing to
hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having
nothing left to pay his
retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government.
Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit
against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel
of federal judges that
Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent
Welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up
the last bits of the ant's
food while the government house he is in, which just
happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related
incident and the house, now
abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who
terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be very careful how you vote in 2008
