Predictions
Posted: January 25th, 2009, 12:14 pm
I'm no Nostradamus, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express the other night. This was revealed in my dreams that night:
- February 1, 2009 will begin a 2 month period of virtually flat seas. This unprecedented weather event will be the subject of doctoral theses and Weather Channel specials for decades. People in Gheenoes and johnboats could travel 30 miles offshore.
- Meanwhile, anglers fishing in 18' - 25' can't get a black sea bass or sheepshead past the hungry red and gag groupers. The grouper consistently measure over 32" and are on virtually every nearshore rockpile.
- People fishing the rock garden start to report that gag grouper, most in the 25" range, are destroying chug bugs, jigs, soft plastics, etc. intended for redfish and trout. The grouper are so aggressive that trout and reds become a rare catch as well. Within a couple of weeks, this is happening all over the flats.
- Recreational fishing interests naively assume that this phenomenon is evidence that gags and red are not necessarily being overfished. They present this information to Roy Crabtree with the National Marine Fisheries Service.
- Mr. Crabtree quickly assembles a blue ribbon commission covering a broad range of commercial fishing interests and animal rights advocates to examine.
- The blue ribbon commission considers data from surveys conducted during February showing virtually no fish brought to the dock by recreational boats. This leads the commission to conclude that red and gag and all other fish stocks have been completely decimated and that additional measures to eliminate overfishing must be taken.
- Interestingly, the latest available commercial catch data are slightly above normal. The commission concludes that only those grouper stocks supporting recreational fishing have declined and recommends increasing commercial landings. Dr. Crabtree agrees and asks the panel to meet in secret session to develop options to deal with the recreational guys.
- Given the extreme gravity of the situation, Dr. Crabtree immediately implements emergency measures recommended by his blue ribbon panel. They include the enforcement of secret regulations and very aggressive sanctions which are only revealed to affected anglers as they are being ticketed or, more likely, arrested. The theory is that uncertainty regarding the rules coupled with enhanced sanctions will dissuade anglers from getting out on the water at all. The panel receives numerous awards from "good-government" organizations for their creative, out-of-the-box thinking.
- President Obama approves the use of former Quantanamo detainees to assist in enforcement of the new regulations. He also agrees to the use of vacant space at the old Quantanamo facility to house the expected crush of wayward fisherman. Conceding that "GW had some good ideas, they were just misdirected" he suspends civil rights for fishermen. A public hearing, after all, would reveal the specifics of the secret regulations. The popular media practically gushes, calling it the most significant step ever taken on behalf of dispossessed fish species.
- As April rolls around, the winds pick back up and thus begins a two month period of constant gale-force winds. I woke up just as June was starting to come into focus, but it didn't look too good.
Have a happy and prosperous 2009 y'all
- February 1, 2009 will begin a 2 month period of virtually flat seas. This unprecedented weather event will be the subject of doctoral theses and Weather Channel specials for decades. People in Gheenoes and johnboats could travel 30 miles offshore.
- Meanwhile, anglers fishing in 18' - 25' can't get a black sea bass or sheepshead past the hungry red and gag groupers. The grouper consistently measure over 32" and are on virtually every nearshore rockpile.
- People fishing the rock garden start to report that gag grouper, most in the 25" range, are destroying chug bugs, jigs, soft plastics, etc. intended for redfish and trout. The grouper are so aggressive that trout and reds become a rare catch as well. Within a couple of weeks, this is happening all over the flats.
- Recreational fishing interests naively assume that this phenomenon is evidence that gags and red are not necessarily being overfished. They present this information to Roy Crabtree with the National Marine Fisheries Service.
- Mr. Crabtree quickly assembles a blue ribbon commission covering a broad range of commercial fishing interests and animal rights advocates to examine.
- The blue ribbon commission considers data from surveys conducted during February showing virtually no fish brought to the dock by recreational boats. This leads the commission to conclude that red and gag and all other fish stocks have been completely decimated and that additional measures to eliminate overfishing must be taken.
- Interestingly, the latest available commercial catch data are slightly above normal. The commission concludes that only those grouper stocks supporting recreational fishing have declined and recommends increasing commercial landings. Dr. Crabtree agrees and asks the panel to meet in secret session to develop options to deal with the recreational guys.
- Given the extreme gravity of the situation, Dr. Crabtree immediately implements emergency measures recommended by his blue ribbon panel. They include the enforcement of secret regulations and very aggressive sanctions which are only revealed to affected anglers as they are being ticketed or, more likely, arrested. The theory is that uncertainty regarding the rules coupled with enhanced sanctions will dissuade anglers from getting out on the water at all. The panel receives numerous awards from "good-government" organizations for their creative, out-of-the-box thinking.
- President Obama approves the use of former Quantanamo detainees to assist in enforcement of the new regulations. He also agrees to the use of vacant space at the old Quantanamo facility to house the expected crush of wayward fisherman. Conceding that "GW had some good ideas, they were just misdirected" he suspends civil rights for fishermen. A public hearing, after all, would reveal the specifics of the secret regulations. The popular media practically gushes, calling it the most significant step ever taken on behalf of dispossessed fish species.
- As April rolls around, the winds pick back up and thus begins a two month period of constant gale-force winds. I woke up just as June was starting to come into focus, but it didn't look too good.
Have a happy and prosperous 2009 y'all
There is no doubt in my mind that he thinks recreational anglers should be prohibited from catching any reef Fish 