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The New Waterboarding: In April, the district attorney in Vilas County, Wis., announced that he was seeking volunteers for a forensic test to help his case against Douglas Plude, 42, who is scheduled to stand trial soon for the second time in the death of his wife. The volunteers must be female, about 5-feet-8 and 140 pounds, and will have to stick their heads into a toilet bowl and flush. Plude is charged with drowning his wife in a commode, but his version (which the prosecutor will try to show is improbable) is that his wife committed suicide by flushing herself. [USA Today- AP, 4-12-09]

Your Sh*tting me

I had heard the job market was in the toilet.

Dubble

Friday May 22, 2009

If you find the idea of taking Botox injections disgusting, why not try a little foreskin on the forehead?

Scientific American is reporting that 150 patents in Britain have received injections of Vavelta, a skin treatment derived from the discarded foreskins of babies intended to rejuvenate damaged skin, including wrinkles, acne, burns and surgical incisions.

It seems that Vavelta is brimming with fibrobrasts, a skin firming protein that becomes scarce with age. The treatment is approved in the U.K., but the F.D.A. has yet to approve the drug.

Of course, many boys have been circumcised for generations, and no one seems to ask where the foreskins end up. Some, we now now, end up on women's faces.

Vavelta brings new meaning to "cheese" JT

I was never sure if it was a forskin or a forhead when I met JT really its more like a five head maybe they could plant some pubic hairs up there.

Nathaniel Johnson, 19, was arrested in March in Tampa on burglary charges when police produced solid evidence of his presence in a neighborhood that had reported several break-ins. Johnson was revealed to be at each crime scene because he was traced by the ankle monitor he was wearing from a previous court appearance. [WFTS-TV (Tampa), 3-13-09]

CHEYENNE, Wyo. (AP) -- A man said he saved his dog's life after sucking venom from a rattlesnake bite out of the animal's nose. Bobby Jenkins said he began feeling ill after getting his dog, Tank, to a veterinarian. He went to the hospital and received a dose of antivenin.

In all, Jenkins needed four vials of antivenin at a cost of $3,500 per vial.

Meanwhile, Jenkins said his dog's head swelled up to three times its normal size. Tank had been bitten after running under some equipment on the family ranch.

The dog also received antivenin and both Jenkins and his dog have recovered.



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$14,000 dog

Dubble

GAINESVILLE, Fla. — The driver of a Brinks armored truck apparently took the money and ran. James Parker drove away in the truck — carrying several hundred thousand dollars — after a co-worker left the vehicle to pick up a deposit at a home-improvement store. The truck was found later with the engine running in the Brinks parking lot — but Parker and the cash remain missing. Parker has yet to be found.

A woman shot her husband because he fatally shot her chicken in some God-forsaken town northwest of Eugene, Oregon. Police are sure the woman intended to shoot the man because she was pissed he shot her pet chicken. They filed charges against her for assault. They're not sure whether the man intended to shoot the chicken. No charges were reportedly brought against him. He used a handgun but she pulled out her full-blown rifle in reply. He shot the chicken straight up - from the front. She shot him in the back!

Did I mention the couple was doing yardwork but had been drinking all day Monday when the ... um ... gunfight broke out? Heck of a way to kick off the week. The moral of the story is, don't shoot your drunken wife's pet chicken but if you do, either don't turn your back on her or make sure her rifle is locked away in the closet first. Maybe you'd be better advised to get rid of any wife who has a chicken for a pet or a rifle she keeps with her while doing yard work.

Someone needs to carry JT fishing!!

Severed Head Found In Playground

German officials have charged three men with murdering a man
after a drunken fight over $12,50 and then putting his head in a
playground. The victims head was found in the German town of
Ahlen and was identified by police. This helped them arrest the
suspects quickly by finding out which people knew the victim.
"The men were drunk and a row ensued during which he was badly
beaten up. Two of the attackers were serving suspended sentences
and realized they would go to jail if he reported them to
police. So they decided to kill him," prosecutors said.

BAD BEHAVIOR wrote:Someone needs to carry JT fishing!!

Yep, JT must be bored......Funny stuff though