Tequila Christmas Cake

Post by **Flats Rascal** » December 8th, 2004, 3:58 pm

Tequila Christmas Cake

1 cup water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
2 cups lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 lb unsalted nuts
1 fifth Tequila
2 cups dried fruit

- Sample the tequila to check quality
- Take a large bowl, check the tequila again
- To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink
- Repeat
- Turn on the electric mixer
- Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl
- Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again
- At this point it's best to make sure the tequila is still ok
- Try another cup...just in case
- Turn off the mixerer thingy
- Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck the cup of dried fruit
- Pick the friggin' fruit up off the floor
- Mix on the turner
- If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver
- Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity
- Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something
- Check the tequila
- Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts
- No wait...shtrain the lemon juice and shift your nuts
- Add one table
- Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find
- Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees
- Don't forget to beat off the turner
- Finally, throw the bowl through the window
- Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat

Saltwater4me · Post by **Saltwater4me** » December 8th, 2004, 4:24 pm

I have tried that recipe and it works great!! Amazing how consitant it turns out everytime

Post by **Sir reel** » December 8th, 2004, 4:43 pm

Could explain why the Cat gets really nervous this time of year

Post by **qoutrage** » December 9th, 2004, 1:07 pm

Classic FR.
When I saw ' 1 fifth Tequila', and before reading the destructions, I knew, I'd never get finished with this cake..
Funn-ney..

Post by **tin can** » December 9th, 2004, 5:39 pm

Can I make the same cake with Jack Daniels?

Post by **Flats Rascal** » December 9th, 2004, 5:51 pm

Yes, you can. But the recipe changes a little. Instead of a bowl, use a small barrel and substitute a 'possum for the cat.

Playing early Loretta Lynn records while baking is also encouraged.

Post by **tin can** » December 9th, 2004, 5:53 pm

I have the small barrel, and can probably find a 'possom. I don't have any early Loretta Lynn records. Will early Pink Floyd albums suffice?

Post by **Flats Rascal** » December 9th, 2004, 6:02 pm

Hmm.... early Pink Floyd would probably do. But then you'd have to spring for a bottle of Crown.

Bottle of Crown.....Loretta Lynn record.....Bottle of Crown.....Loretta Lynn record.

Tough choice, huh?

Post by **Flats Rascal** » December 9th, 2004, 6:03 pm

...and, of course, "Fluffy" is back to looking over her shoulder again.

Post by **tin can** » December 9th, 2004, 6:15 pm

FR, how 'bout some old Allman Brothers?

Post by **tin can** » December 9th, 2004, 6:18 pm

I just remembered that I have "Will the Circle Be Unbroken". There's some good old stuff on that one.

Post by **Flats Rascal** » December 9th, 2004, 6:21 pm

Allman Brothers. Now you're talkin'!

Dirt Band and friends would do, as well.

Post by **tin can** » December 9th, 2004, 6:23 pm

Sounds like maybe you and I need to make a cake together some time.

Post by **Flats Rascal** » December 9th, 2004, 6:25 pm

Your cat or mine?

Post by **tin can** » December 9th, 2004, 6:29 pm

It don't matter.