Glad I don't live in Valdosta, as I must admit "been there, done that" and I didn't even have the excuse of being drunk.
Bout fifteen years ago I was working as a third shift supervisor for a manufacturing plant in South Cackalacky, and to make matters worse regularly abused myself with additional overtime morning hours. One morning as I was making my way home I came to a set of tracks only to see a VERY long train approaching. I at least had the sense to put my car in neutral and also pulled up my parking brake, swearing I would only rest my eyes for a second...

...

...

... and the next thing I know I hear voices approaching my car, see a long line of traffic behind me in my rear view mirror, and there's not a train in sight

.. floor the car across the now empty tracks, praying no one I know has witnessed the embarrising event... and of course get to work the next day and one of my buds is telling everyone about my sitting at the track for five minutes, and the pending rescue operation he was set to start after he figured the owner of the car at the tracks was suffering a heart attack.
And to your point, Suber, even though I was from a small town I didn't make the official paper news though I'm not sure it would have made much a difference in the number of folks that enjoyed the story thanks to my supposed buddy.
"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank GOD for the United States Marine Corps." Eleanor Roosevelt, 1945