NO SEX TONIGHT BIG BOY............

[Jumptrout51]

No Sex Tonight
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man”.
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey”.
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all
dear, let’s go to the cashier”.

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel
like it”.

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT?”.

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”.

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.

[Redfish Jim]

Look on the bright side...you lived to write about it.

[Flint River Pirate]

[Geaux Fishin]

Great story!! Where do you guys come up with this stuff!!!

[Flanders]

That was great!!!!

[Reel Cowboy]

[snatch-n-reel]

[whitebc]

[shnstone]

Dang boys I done got to the point to where Im the one saying not tonight baby . But I like the way you think.

[Reel Cowboy]

Dang boys I done got to the point to where Im the one saying not tonight baby . But I like the way you think.

It's only ok to blatantly lie in fishing reports.

[shnstone]

Dang boys I done got to the point to where Im the one saying not tonight baby . But I like the way you think.

It's only ok to blatantly lie in fishing reports.

Point taken

[RHTFISH]

I would be fortunate to still be alive.....in intensive care of course!

[jsuber]

Nice!

[Fisher of Men]

[GAJOEY]

Great story!! Where do you guys come up with this stuff!!!

a place called true life