Happy Valentines Day Honey
Moderators: bman, Chalk, Tom Keels
- lizbeth
- Site Sponsor
- Posts: 576
- Joined: November 29th, 2006, 7:28 pm
- Location: forgotten coast
- Contact:
Happy Valentines Day Honey
A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan . . .
All he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know... they have frozen glasses... "
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps and little quiches.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? OK, THEN, LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER. GOT IT, JACKASS?"
... and they lived happily ever after.
Isn't that a sweet story? MADE MY EYES TEAR UP . .
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan . . .
All he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know... they have frozen glasses... "
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps and little quiches.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? OK, THEN, LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER. GOT IT, JACKASS?"
... and they lived happily ever after.
Isn't that a sweet story? MADE MY EYES TEAR UP . .
Pirate Girl
Re: Happy Valentines Day Honey
A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the telephone.
- Reel Cowboy
- Site Sponsor
- Posts: 5552
- Joined: September 22nd, 2006, 10:45 am
- Location: Dallas, Tx
- Contact:
Re: Happy Valentines Day Honey
That's how it be.
In the words of the great Doc Holliday, "I'll be your huckleberry"
-
- Site Sponsor
- Posts: 340
- Joined: December 30th, 2008, 3:46 pm
- Location: Where the fish are.
Re: Happy Valentines Day Honey
WOW, I really shouldn't read stuff like that a month before my wedding.
- Reel Cowboy
- Site Sponsor
- Posts: 5552
- Joined: September 22nd, 2006, 10:45 am
- Location: Dallas, Tx
- Contact:
Re: Happy Valentines Day Honey
slowroller wrote:WOW, I really shouldn't read stuff like that a month before my wedding.
Why? What have you done to deserve being happy?
In the words of the great Doc Holliday, "I'll be your huckleberry"
Re: Happy Valentines Day Honey
slowroller wrote:WOW, I really shouldn't read stuff like that a month before my wedding.
I come from a small drinking community with a fishing problem
-
- Site Sponsor
- Posts: 340
- Joined: December 30th, 2008, 3:46 pm
- Location: Where the fish are.
Re: Happy Valentines Day Honey
Nothing I guess, I'll stay home and drink from my frosty mug and eat pig in the blanket.
Re: Happy Valentines Day Honey
Good Boy!!slowroller wrote:Nothing I guess, I'll stay home and drink from my frosty mug and eat pig in the blanket.
I come from a small drinking community with a fishing problem
-
- Site Sponsor
- Posts: 1233
- Joined: April 13th, 2007, 1:53 pm
- Location: Tallahassee fl.
Re: Happy Valentines Day Honey
Sounds like what my wife said some time ago
- RiverRunner
- Posts: 625
- Joined: July 27th, 2006, 9:11 am
- Location: Hey-vana
Re: Happy Valentines Day Honey
I just had to log on to read this thread.....I'm Slowrollers best man! HAHAHAHA.....ya'll ain't living right! That's all I gotta say about that.
Re: Happy Valentines Day Honey
Not bad... until SHE's the pig in the blanket!Nothing I guess, I'll stay home and drink from my frosty mug and eat pig in the blanket.
use your opportunities ...
218 Carolina Skiff
25 Bayliner Deck
218 Carolina Skiff
25 Bayliner Deck