Computer Mouse Inspector

[dstockwell]

I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This was a real

memo sent out by IBM to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all

field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this

memo was quite genuine. The engineers rolled on the floor! Especially

note the last couple of sentences.


"If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it

may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field

Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement

of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.


"Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining

the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than

foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer

of the mouse.


"Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic

balls re replaced by using the twist off method. Mouse balls are not usually

static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden

discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.


It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for

maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.


Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge

of removing and replacing these necessary items. Please keep in mind

that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer."

[fishful_thinkin]