DUI - SOUTHERN STYLE
(Only people from North Carolina could think of this. From the
county where driving while under the influence is considered a
sport, comes this true story.)
Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in Kinston,
North Carolina . After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving
the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man
stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer
quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five
different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the
bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers
on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on
and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then
remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other
patrons' vehicles left.
At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he
pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now
started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled
the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.
To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the
man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said,
'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This
breathalyzer equipment must be broken.'
'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Redneck. 'Tonight I'm the
designated decoy'!
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