HOW TO INSTALL A REDNECK HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16
work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo
Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Bubba,
Me, Bertha, Duke, 'n Slim, went for s'more ammo 'n beer. Be back
in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls- they got the mailman this
morning and messed'm up real bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it
was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em
in the house. Best wait outside.
Be right back,
Cooter
Redneck Home Security System
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